Challenging life can mean challenging your thoughts. To do this you will need to pay attention to what you are thinking at any given moment. This being said, paying attention to everything is overwhelming so you might just want to focus on one specific topic of concern at a time. A great example of this is when a potential partner is around you. Do you say to yourself ‘this is a beautiful person I would like to speak to’ or ‘I’m not good enough to speak to them.’ And if your thoughts do go towards a negative response then this is a great opportunity to follow the rabbit hole by asking:
Why did I say that?
What do I gain emotionally from saying that?
When did I start stating that?
What experience did I have which led me to this statement?
What reinforced this belief?
Does this belief system reflect reality or only my perception of reality?
Does this belief really reflect who I am today?
A while ago I wrote a blog about the power of questions. You are already asking yourself thousands of questions each day yet often (because they are automatic) they can be limiting ones. The above questions bring the ego into account. It challenges your identity though only if you answer the questions properly.
If the above questions are answered egotistically you will undoubtable give bias negative responses reinforcing the belief you already have. But if you ask it openly without prior presumption/identity or ego then the only truth is that you are as welcomed to speak to that other person as much as anyone else is. Any emotional reactions connected to your responses means that you are bringing a belief system into the equation.
Now don’t get me wrong, of course our history of experiences has created our identity and there are many amazing life lessons we need to hold onto. Yet I am specifically talking about the identity that thinks we are not as good as others, that we don’t deserve better, that our life is destined to be crap, that life is depressive, and, that there is no hope. This is not factual but rather a limited perception of a bruised ego. Our mind put 2 and 2 together from life experiences though forgot to calculate the other 96%.
That 96% (which is closer to 99.9%) includes every other experience you have had in life. And although you may have taken this one specific lesson into your adulthood (by blowing it out of proportion in your mind which in return created limiting beliefs and blockages) it certainly doesn’t mean that this belief has to continue. As stated above, it can be stopped by being present and calling yourself out on thoughts that no longer have a place in today’s reality.
Okay, so I used the ‘asking a person out’ example though please don’t stop there. Apply this rule to moments of anxiety around family, work colleagues, daily life and even politics. I am aware that this may not be easy at first, yet by continually catching yourself in emotional responses (and then querying them) your brain will eventually get the point. And that point is that the past no longer reflects your present self. Plus, although it may take further time till you finally believe this (and even further time till physical reactions then represent themselves to your new way of thinking) it is the beginning of a new positive and aware mindset.
(part 4 will be out next week)