If you procrastinate and over think then that means one specific thing, you’re human. Yet some of us procrastinate more than others. Over the last year I have witnessed three separate situations that relate to this.
Situation 1. Jane (this is a made up name) is a person that is having an issue with addiction. Jane wants to get better though fears many things about her life. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way yet beyond her current worries is the fear that others will find out and judge her. This makes the addiction worse because now she not only worries about the addiction itself, though also about hiding the signs of it whilst being around others. Jane wants to get better and is trying to, yet this pressure is even supressing her need to go to the doctors to seek help.
Situation 2. Bob (clearly a made up name) is a person who has been looked after by his parents for most of his life. It’s now gotten to the point where he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions or inactions. When it comes to moving out of home, organising bills and even organising presents for others he simply breaks down and says that he can’t do it. There is always an excuse such as ‘I don’t have enough money’ or ‘I am going through some emotional problems right now’ or ‘people don’t understand me’ and so forth. And although I make no joke about this person’s situation and the seriousness of these types of belief systems, it is a clear underlining issue that constantly arises with him and his family/friends.
Situation 3. Me. Not that long ago I re-begun blogging after taking an extended break, and when I did, I found that coming back was much harder than it needed to be. I also started noticing that everything was getting harder. This was mostly because I had moved house, was working more and I found it hard to find time, yet there was something else bugging me that I couldn’t put my finger on. I was struggling with my band, my work, my leisure and my health because I couldn’t lock down any decisions. This was mostly because I was questioning my own capabilities. For months I was stuck, in a rut and not myself. And furthermore, it had been so long since I had had any type of success that I thought I was cursed. I was waiting for a break, I was waiting for some luck, and I was waiting for guidance that didn’t come.
So what happened with me? Well, I never got that break, but, I did hit a breaking point. It was clear that nothing was changing and that luck wasn’t coming my way so I decided I needed to work this one out myself. One night I sat down and put the intention in my mind that I wanted to resolve this. I didn’t add pressure or a timeframe; I just decided that I was ready for change. Over the next day’s I witnessed what was happening and questioned why I couldn’t move forward. It then hit me. I was my own worst enemy. I was procrastinating everything by trying to be a perfectionist. My fear of not getting things done correctly and failing consumed me whilst the worry of being rejected and letting others down also had blocked my ability to move forward.
After realising what I was doing I decided to simply jump in the deep end. I went online and released a blog even though I wasn’t 100% satisfied with the final product. I also found a myo-therapist I had been procrastinating about. The next day I filled out those crappy documents, paid the bills, made applications for gigs whilst ignoring the fear of rejection, and finally, I let go of the excuses I was making to myself. The weird thing about this experience is that I started at 10pm at night as soon as inspiration hit me. I got momentum and then took the remaining actions the following day. Many things that had taken me months to even start were now finished within 24 hours. And furthermore, this momentum grew more and more over the following months till I had achieved many things I didn’t anticipate.
In regards to the first two situations, well, they are still working through the motions. And given the seriousness of what they are going through (compared to my little blockage) this is understandable. I have not offered advice as it would not be appropriate or accepted at this time. I wish them both the best in their journey and will be there for them when and if they ask.
I told this story today because we can all get blocked. We doubt ourselves, we worry about others opinions or hurting them, we fear failure and we can question everything we do. At certain points in our life we can feel like we are kings and queens, whilst on other days we can feel like we have no confidence or self-love. And it is for this reason that I share this story. Going through situations such as this doesn’t mean that we are stupid. It just means that we are human.
To overcome my own situation I started by making the decision that I was ready to do so. I put my intentions out into the world and once my mind had permission to seek the answers without anger or frustration (I did this by not setting a time limit or expectations) I opened myself up to messages around me. When the penny dropped and incite came I then went with the momentum. I have been discussing this process and many more throughout this chapter and do believe that it is the power of presence whilst standing back from the ego.
The next blog (topic) will be the last in this chapter before we move onto ‘The Ego and the Observer’. It’s very much connected to presence and is key in the process of self-healing.