I am going to take you back to that experience of being a child one last time. We are going to specifically start at the moment where you were embarrassed in front of the class. To rub salt into the wound I am also going to say that you went through two more embarrassing situations before the age of ten. These experiences are nothing beyond the usual childish pranks or tricks that children do in the schoolyard. Yet because of the emotional impact of that first experience, the second and third ones have strengthened your neurotransmitters into strong beliefs. Let’s look at what some of these beliefs may be…
We can say that the hurt you felt from the other children during this time period might now create a barrier of trust between you and others. You may be defensive before placing yourself in vulnerable positions in the future, therefore placing security before spontaneity in forthcoming choices you make. You may create a phobia to public speaking or choose to be shy, more introverted, sceptical, cynical or even judgemental about others. But of cause it is not all bad. You may become a perfectionist so that others don’t have the chance to pick on you. You might become more articulate. It is possible you will be a comedian (as comedy may be your defence mechanism towards awkward moments), or you may want to become technically minded as you have an urge to fix problems. There is even a chance you will want to study psychology as you don’t want these experiences occurring to others, this is due to being sympathetic towards those going through pain. Then again, as you were so young, you might just have a nervous response of eating your own boogers for comfort. Who am I to judge?
Question: Okay, so besides for the booger thing, is it actually possible for these experiences at such a young age to create a life changing path?
Question: How do you know if something like this has happened to you when you were young?
Answer: To put it simply, it has happened to everyone in one form or another.
Let me ask you a few more questions. Have you always been afraid of public speaking? Do you trust others? Do you get nervous around others? Do you get nervous around the opposite sex? Do you get angry when others make you wait? Do you question the meaning of life regularly or have deep thoughts about existence and the purpose of it?
It doesn’t matter if you answered yes or no to any of these questions as the result is exactly the same. You were not born coming out of the uterus with public speaking ability or inability; it was an experience that occurred when you were young that created confidence or a lack of confidence to do it. The same example relates to all of those other questions. In fact, your entire personality is defined by your experiences in your life.
Put simply, when you were young you had countless experiences which began countless numbers of beliefs. Since then you have had experience after experience, after experience, after experience. The original belief may now not look anything like what it started as. This is due to the fact that it was strengthened, weakened, changed or manipulated over the years. And now, your perception on reality is distorted due to life experience. Therefore, it no longer reflects the initial objectionable innocent open mind that you began with. The ego has taken control and a personality is beginning to be formed.
Life is a duel experience that creates ego which defines our individuality. We should not fear it, feel limited by it, or feel lessor than any other human being. We are unique in our perception of the world around us and we have made the best decisions we could, given the knowledge we had at the time.
Whoever you think you are, whatever you think defines you, is an ego driven response. Therefore, the less your ego defines you, the more control you have over your life. This is why people dive into their past and try to clear old wounding’s. This is also the reason many people meditate and try to understand what makes them do the things they do. Once you understand the reasons for why your ego acts the way it does, and then you look at it objectionably, there is a chance you will notice that the rules you work within no longer apply to your present life. And if you’re really lucky, this simple recognition might be all you require to make a positive lasting change.