Whilst I sit here eating my Fruit Loops (yes I eat fruit loops for breakfast) I feel I have to talk about a topic that has been niggling me for some time now. Fate.
The idea of fate is a beautiful thing. The belief that there is something in this world that is guiding us to the right place, and challenging us, can be as inspirational as feeling close to god or being in Love. It can also be a pile of crap that you tell yourself so that you don’t have to take responsibility for your own worthless decisions… (do you see what I did there 🙂
I know, I know. This sounds a bit harsh. The truth of the matter is, I believe that we need to let go at times and let ‘fate’ take over. In fact, I believe that it is one of the most powerful things you can do. Yet, this does not mean that you get to turn on autopilot, screw up the lives of those around you, make pathetic decisions that you take NO responsibility for, and then call it divine intervention. That’s just plain lazy.
Now, before I go too far off the beaten track, lets make this more relevant to yourself. Fate is a great thing when you are in a good place. And this is how it works… Once you have cleared a lot of your wounding’s in life and you realise that you have a positive foresight, letting go can be wonderful. Essentially, your subconscious (which is now looking for positive changes and directions) takes over and guides you down some beautiful places. This also works if you are not in a good place, your subconscious will try to find a back door, or possibly more trouble for you to get into. When you need a change in life, that is exactly what happens when you throw your life to fate. Why? Because you drop your insecurities, open yourself up to the world and walk whatever direction comes before you.
Did you ever watch the movie ‘Yes Man?’ (and yes, I am aware that there is a book, thanks for the notification mister sophisticated). Well it’s the same idea, you stop your mind from saying no to paths that are dangerous or unknown, and you become more open to new possibilities.
But here is the catch. These possibilities become your so called destiny. You put fate on these ideas and use them to justify any mistakes (or any hurt) you cause to others. Why? Because ‘you are just walking the path’. And this is where I have to say that many people are full of s&%t. Fate is the opportunity to walk through a door, not the excuse to walk through it. Have you ever thought to ask the question ‘maybe this is a test by my fate to see if I am wise enough to make the right decision?’ Or is that too much responsibility for you?
I remember 1 night in India where I felt a pull to jump on a persons scooter as they were wild and free. And needed something interesting to happen in my life urgently, and surly this was a message from above. In the end, I chose not to follow this man. Why? Because there were 5 beer cans in front of him. Now, my heart said follow as this will be a hell of a story, but instead I chose common sense. And how did this story end. I made my way across to the next venue, opened myself to fate, ended up performing a gig on stage, jumping on someone else’s scooter, having an interesting talk about morals to a hit man, and then doing another gig whilst getting free grog for the rest of my night…
I tell you the above story because I didn’t just run blindly to the first option and label it as fate. I analized the situation and chose a different path of fate. At times it’s hard to to know when to choose and when to let go, yet this is learning, and this is evolution.
Now, before you state that you are all about fate and flow with the wind, let me tell you what I often see. People such as this are actually not following fate at all. At times, when it pleases them they choose an option (which they label as fate) that limits their responsibilities. But, and this is the interesting part, when fate throws them responsibilities and hard choices, suddenly they are not interested in going with the flow anymore. They become very selective about their so called fate and choose a path (which once again, they delude themselves in believing it’s fate) which is away from the drama and responsibility in the present.
In many cases the person doing this doesn’t even know that they are doing it. Why? Because this is your mind which is in control, and your mind will do anything to avoid pain and go towards pleasure.
Before my Fruit Loops get too cold I have to tell you why I am writing this. The first is because of a lady that I know very personally. She is very religious and her life belongs to fate. For this reason, her life belongs to others. See, when you open your life to fate you are actually opening yourself up for others to make decisions for you. Depending on your company, this can either be a positive or negative thing. This sucks in this woman’s life because it’s the hardest decisions that she leaves up to fate. And eventually, inevitably, it just passes that responsibility to someone else to make the decision for her.
The other reason I am discussing this is because I can’t stand people using the excuse of fate when it comes to decisions that they don’t want to face. It is not fate, it is just you running away from your responsibility! Fate can be twisted in so many ways to make us feel that life is out of our control, or that we are guided by the divine. If that makes it easier for you to sleep at night then good on you, but don’t expect me or anyone else to be in the wake of your aftermath.
If you are going to let fate make the decisions in your life then please do me one favor, own it. If you choose not to take control of your own life and let fate point you in a direction, this is as much of a responsibility as HAVING responsibility. It is not a get out of jail free card, you can’t neglect a problem and say that ‘fate made my decision for me’. Neglect is also a decision, and it’s the weakest decision you can make out of all of them.
Life can suck at times, but we can’t just run away. I am not saying don’t believe in fate, just be aware that your perception controls your fate, and it may just be a scapegoat. I will also take this time to say that I believe in Fruit Loops. Why? because at the supermarket I let fate decide between a healthy cereal and this bowl of sugar. I now take no responsibility for what this sugar will do to my body as it was divine intervention. Thanks
The Lonely Spaceman 